literature

Journal of a Goblin part 2

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Literature Text

Day 17
I got tested to see what job  would most suit my in me in my promotion. After days of intense training it was determind what I was best at. After days of training it was found that I'm best at archery, I beat everyone else at it. It was tought but I was able to hit 1 out of 10 non-mobile targets.
Though unlike the crazy customs that the humans practice, where you get chosen based on your best skill, we consult chicken bones. Unfortunatly the goblin performing the ceremoney mistook the bones for an alive chicken and choked to death. So I was promoted to a new regiment, the trap creators.
Day 18
I dug a pit and put sharp sticks at the bottom, it should get the adventurers that aren't well equiped.
Day 19
Today I saw the first adventurer fall into the pit after waiting all day! I couldn't help but notice how little armor they had on, I know that my next promotion is coming all the faster after that. Though after the human fell in seven of my comrades ran to kill him and fell into the pit too. They....Errrr..... Didn't make it.
But my pit killed seven of my comrades and that its a lucky number! I thought to myself how lucky I was to get such a high amount of kills, then I quickly covered it up and planted a nice rock there in hopes it will grow into a boulder one day.
Day 30
All was going well in my regiment till it was discovered that my regiment is really good at killing. Though unfortunatly due to most of our territory now consisting of only spike traps and mines thrown around randomly (we recieved prototypes from a tinker's workshp) we have been shut down.
I feel like its a small price to pay to have to sacrifice a bit of land, but it turns out for every one enemy we kill end up killing four golblins. Personally I'm simply offended to find that the trap creators regiment isn't keeping up with my standard of murder of comrades. I am now 1012th in the line to being the next goblin leader.
For future scholars I feel like I Should explain that a goblin leader isn't the leader of the whole race. We aren't just in the thousands but in the millions, becoming leader is just a simple goal for now. Above Goblin leaders are Goblin kings. Above Goblin kings is the  Pessimistic Reader In Cryptic Knowledge (PRICK for short). His job is to keep our race ahead of everyone else. We use to be quite far behind before the newest PRICK, but now we are right above hypocritical beavers in Intelligence.
Day 31
I'm am now a proud watcher, my job is to alert people when enemies are lurking around. Word is a very strong person will be coming here soon. When they get here I'll reveal their location so fast that I'll get instantly promoted!
Another beautiful-ish work made by Seal, oh lawdy, I'm rooting for the Goblin to be a PRICK after reading this(Artists Opinion) also I can't help but imagine seal looking like this when writing OMG MOAR POEMS!  
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TripleC123Ninja's avatar
This is just hilarious!!!